Relentless spam comments crowding my email inbox have kept this blog’s existence front of mind lately.

With more than 4500 spam comments that can be deleted a mere 20 entries at a time, it will take a while to delete them.

How can I sum up a 2-year void of posts?

Life.

But mostly the life I led for just over a year in caring for my grandmother. We moved to a different house in a different town. I still worked full time but doubled my commute. In some ways, I am just now coming out of the fog of caregiver schedules, moving, dealing with her estate (which my sister carried the burden of detail work on), grief, and figuring out what to add back to my life. She died on Sept. 22, 2019, and sometimes it feels like 20 years ago. Other days it feels like yesterday.

I’ve missed the Poetry Friday crowd. I’ve written — poems, journal entries, letters. I’ve pondered my identity. I’ve wondered about this blog — am I writing for myself or for others? How does the answer to that question shape what I share?

I’m grateful to the writers and friends who have not let me forget my creative side. Most recently I was invited to share in the #PoemsofPresence project for May.

Perhaps I will use those poems as a way to step back into the blog, if only as a way to make what I write more tangible than Twitter. Time will tell. I can say that I do not want to return to requiring myself to have a photo or design for every poem. Life demands a simpler approach, no matter what it looks like visually on the blog.

If you are a subscriber, thank you. And bear with me as I figure out what’s next.